Here’s something that may totally change the way you think about Japanese women.

When you watch old Japanese films, pay attention to where women are walking. They ALWAYS walk behind men, and they are not looking up when they walk, but they have wandering eyes.

The reason for this is that they are checking out the men’s ASS.

I don’t understand why some women get upset when men are only attracted to big bosomed women, instead of seeing the person inside. It works both ways. If it didn’t, advertisers would never spend so much money designing the perfect packaging for detergent and chocolate. Women have equal right to check out all packages.

Whoever invented the magazine PLAYGIRL was a moron. Great news for gay men, but we girls are not interested in what’s obvious. When a woman sees an erect penis, she doesn’t get aroused, she gets suspicious. We are more complicated than that.

There are girls who like abs, wide shoulders, a deep voice or a pretty face. But me, I’m an Ass Girl. Doesn’t mean I’m a jerk. I enjoy watching tight buns, not the wiggly kind, but the swishy kind.

When it comes men’s buns, I am as picky as Goldilocks, except three isn’t a magic number for me. And no matter how much I adore my own race’s intelligence, tidiness and sweetness, I cannot take 65% of Asian buns. They remind me of a flat computer monitor. Not too exciting. And if their owners don’t workout when they get older, their buns look like the face on Edward Munch’s painting, “The Scream”.

Then there are Black men’s buns. This is what I call the “real deal.” They are beautifully puffy. I especially like them when they shine like black pearls. But for my tiny hands, they are often too overwhelming. I often have the urge to just to grab on, but I refuse to look like I’m trying to climb a coconut tree

White men’s buns are friendly and non-threatening in my eyes. But I’ve noticed that when white men get fat, their buns don’t droop or puff out, but grow side ways.

So I decided the worked out Spanish buns are most ideal to my hands.

Regardless of race, I do not like petite olive colored buns or fat Tofu buns. Peach is okay, but I like it shiny not fuzzy.

I have found that my FINGERS are the best way to judge comfortably cushioned strong buns. When they’re squeezed, you may see dimples on both cheeks. I call these ideal buns “tomato asses”.

When you are looking for the perfect tomato to pluck, proper assessment is key. It will make it easier if you give the subject a hug to be certain he has the goods. First, act friendly. Give the subject the kind of a hug that shows that you are not frigid, but more of an open free-spirited type of person. If you are short, take advantage of it. If you are tall, stand a step below the subject. Do not let him hold you under your arms. You must let his arms go over your shoulders. Then, step into his tummy area, and slowly hug him. If he is big, like a mattress, and if you have short arms like me, it’s your lucky day. You should be able to land one hand on each cheek. Gently pat the material. Do not hold it for too long or squeeze too aggressively. Don’t get frightened or you may also frighten the subject. It may take a few tries to get the technique down.

The packaging is equally as important: Underwear.

To be honest, looking at a man in his underwear, even without socks, is definitely not a turn on. We are more into feeling and touching than watching. And when you see tight bikini briefs on a man, you feel like releasing “it” so “it” can breathe.

Elephant pants – they makes me want to drop everything and go home. This is what I call Jerry Lewis humor. You are sacrificing your pride to get a laugh.  Men without pride is like a sugar free cotton candy. What’s the use?

No silly trunks – unless you are playing strip poker. I do not want my man to feel obliged to make me laugh all the time.

My favorite is the classic. A sparkling brand new pair of “Tighty Whities”. Younger women may be afraid of these; for fear that they may indicate that he is a “mama’s boy”. To me, it tells me he is a man who’s not afraid of letting go – he can throw them away once they start to thin, if the rubber waistband loses its elasticity, or turn yellow.

I don’t mind men not wearing any underwear at all as long as it’s with jeans, and safely worn, and nothing gets caught in the gaping maws of the zipper.

No matter what kind of underwear he uses, when you get married make sure your hubby switches to the tighty whities for laundry reasons.

I’m hoping this may open a window of opportunity for all couples to have a conversation that may start with something like, “Honey, what do you think about my underwear?” I just want all women to be able express their tastes, because I had to learn the hard way.

My expertise on this subject didn’t come easy.

When I was young and fresh, I dated a baseball player. It was during baseball season, and he was storing and using his energy for games ONLY. In the beginning, it was exciting and it was enough to just go out dinner or shopping to pick out shirts for him. After a while, just doing the “nice going out thing” was killing me. Later, I couldn’t even bring myself to the games, because I felt like a diabetic woman in a candy store.

We broke up in one September afternoon. We were both heartbroken. I was able to say, “Can I just touch your buns?” It may have saved our relationship.

But if this pain has taught me anything, it is that I have learned how to set boundaries, while communicating each other’s needs. You cannot live on tomatoes alone. Balance of need, want and what we can have is the key to any healthy relationship.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I look for intelligence and nice conversations – at least while he is sitting. Conversations with men who can speak their minds without thinking about what others think, or those that do as they please, is what I love most. There are too many men who prefer to be liked rather than to be heard, and I can’t trust those opinion benders. I like men with guts who can fight me, argue with me and tell me I’m wrong. I know in the end I’m always right. And, because I am always telling them what to do, I like a man who tells me what to do. I never do what he tells me to do, but again, I respect that the man has the guts to be an asshole.

Yes, that’s right. I love assholes, as in he’s a jerk. I can trust that breed of men, because I know that they are being up front and honest. Maybe I’m looking at their behind instead of their front because I feel like many men are castrated. I seek passion – the kind of passion that there is between a matador and a bull. Like Maureen O’Hara and John Wayne – the “table-flipping” and “throwing-water” kind of passion.

Why do we try to act so civilized anyway? Why do we have to feel guilty when anyone if offended by any thing we do or say? We are too nice to let the whiners and complainers get what they want. Taboos and rules are making us paranoid, and we need to be told what not to do before we figure out what we need to do. We are numbing our own judgment. We accept lies or double talk because that’s what civilized society does.  If the wheel squeaks too loud, replace it.  Don’t oil an old and bitter wheel.

But wasn’t it the civilized people that were supposed to rise above from the uncivilized society, and lead the example of ideal society? It surely looks like other way around nowadays.

Maybe we should be little bit wilder, willing to break the rules. We have been tamed too long. We need to release our animal side and do something that feels right.

So here’s my message to all men kind:

Be an animal. Go wild. Speak the truth. And shake your asses. Eat tomatoes.

One day when my mom picked my sister and me up from school, we stopped by a store on the way home to do some shopping.  A gypsy woman stopped us and insisted on telling us our fortune. She said her children were hungry and she needed the money. My mom told her that we weren’t interested in the fortune but offered her a bit of money. She said she wouldn’t accept the money without telling our fortune (fal). Finally, we agreed.

The Gipsy woman had a small purse mirror with plastic rims. She asked me to say my name and then to make an imprint with my index finger on that small mirror. She did the same thing with my sister. She then looked at my mom and said that your daughters would leave the country in 21 days and they would never come back to leave in Iran. She told my mom that we would be separated for a while and that my mom should cherish the time when my whole family is together.  In exactly 21 days we left the country to go to Switzerland for studies. After several years in Europe, my sister and I moved to the United States to finish our studies. We never moved back to Iran.

I have plenty of stories like this and will share some more with you during this piece. There are countries such as Iran, Turkey, Armenia and Lebanon where people do have their fortune read and this is a part of the culture I dare say.  I believe some of the Latin American countries do believe in the fortune as well and in addition they practice magic to open up problems or fix a love triangle.

There are different ways of doing this. Some do it with cards, some read faces, and some open books. However, the most common of them all is reading the coffee cup. We call the coffee, Turkish coffee.  The coffee is prepared on the stove. We actually cook it with water in small pots that are made for this. I like my Turkish coffee cooked with a touch of milk and some honey. Since I am not a huge coffee drinker, adding those ingredients enhances the taste for me. Once the coffee is done, you drink the coffee while concentrating on the questions you want to be answered. The thickest part of the coffee sediments deposits on the bottom and you should drink till the sediments and a touch of coffee are left. Then you put the saucer on top of the cup and recite the questions while concentrating on them. You flip the cup with the saucer on top of it towards yourself. Then you wait about a minute and remove the cup and put it on a napkin top down to dry. You also lean the saucer next to it.

Once it dried a little, the fortune teller will read the pictures inside the coffee cup and tells your future. At the end of it, you ask a specific question and mark the bottom of the cup with your index finger. The fortune teller then looks at the picture and tells you the answer to your question.

Another way of telling the fortune is reading from a poetry book by Hafez-e- Shirazi. He is a beloved poet from the city of Shiraz in Iran who lived during the 14^th century.  His poems are used frequently in the traditional Persian Music, Calligraphy, and visual Art.

On the Yalda night (shab- e- Yalda or Shab-e chelleh) the longest night in winter, Persians celebrate with family and friends.  Yalda is a Syriac word which means “birth.” The Eve of the Yalda has great significance for the Iranians. It is the night when Mithra, the Sun God was born. Mithra symbolized light, goodness and strength on earth.  In ancient times they believed that this night represented the triumph of the Sun God over the powers of darkness.

My parents usually have a party at their home for Yalda night. Following is a picture of the things that are a must on the table. We have pomegranates, watermelons, sweet dry nuts and pistachios, candles everywhere and of course a book of poetry by Hafez.  We eat, drink, and read poetry all night. Some of my family members sometimes sing even though not all have singing voices. But I love every second of it. Each poem, each piece of music, and every singer is wonderful to listen to.   My mom recites Hafez beautifully and I am rusty but practicing.  Once the poetry is read, we interpret it to give the answer to the questions.

Fal-e- Hafez is used on a daily basis by many people but for me this occasion is the best way to describe this fal.

Another story that I like to tell people as one of my incredible experiences in a fortune telling world happened when I was about thirteen year old.  I went to accompany my aunt and mom to a fortuneteller. When I was there I decided to have my coffee read. She told me that I would live in the United States because she can see the Statute of Liberty in the cup. However, I would live in the part of the United States where the weather is warm. She said that my parents’ home would have a little backyard where we would like to do barbecues.  Well, all that she said happened.

She is still reading coffee and is pretty known in her profession. I went back and saw her about four years ago when I went back to Iran. She looked at my coffee and told me right away about my education. She described to the teeth the character of the person that I was dating at that time and talked to me about my choices for further education.  I asked her if she believed that she was always right and if she changed her choices in life or coached her children to change their life according the coffee she read. She told me that we make wrong decisions sometimes knowing that they are wrong. She gave me an example about her daughter. She told me that she discouraged her daughter in her choice in marriage because she knew that it wouldn’t last and the guy wasn’t the one for her. However, her daughter decided to go ahead with it and married him.  She was in love.  This woman couldn’t help her own daughter change her mind about marrying the person that wasn’t for her.  Her daughter eventually did get a divorce.

Do we believe these fortune telling or do we change our future to match what is said or we all have a set destiny? At this point of my life I believe in dual existence of destiny and a given fate, which is unchangeable.  I do believe that we mainly make our own destinies and our choices today form our lives tomorrow. But I also believe that certain things in life are part of fate. I have made friends that I know most part of my life. I hope to keep these friends for the rest of my years. I also have made encounters that are not part of my life anymore. I feel that some of these people are there to stop me from doing something or encourage me to do something else and that is it. They are out of my life as fast as they became part of it.

Sometimes, we feel that we love a person and there is no way that there will be anyone better in the world for us but whatever we do it just doesn’t happen. Six months after the break up, we find out why it wasn’t meant to be. Many times that break up was the best thing that could have happened to us.  Sometimes you make a decision in your life and everything seems to just work towards it.  Everything just clicks together well. Other times, you want to do something and nothing works out.   The examples above are to my opinion part of the predestined fate.

I think it was my fate to come to the United States but I think I make my destiny myself here.

I personally love having fal nights with girlfriends. We sit around make coffee, read poetry book, and do the cards.  I have friends from all over the world, who find the fortune telling amazing and mysterious. Do I believe in it? The good parts. Do I change my life for it? Not yet. But I become more aware if the reader warns me about a situation. That is if I really trust the person who is reading the cup. I mostly do it because it is fun.

So next time that you find someone who can read the coffee cup, ask him or her to make you some and read it for you and you can judge for yourself.

Check back soon for my next post. Have a GREAT week!

Check back soon for my next post. Have a GREAT week!

Like so many of you, I’m still searching for logical answers to the deadly shooting that took place in Tucson on Saturday January 8th. Fourteen injured. Six dead.

Stunned by the shocking developments I couldn’t stop but racking my brain once more about another widely ignored problem in our society. What could drive a twenty two year old boy, who only a few months ago was committed to a college education, to unleash such a devastating shooting rampage?

Unlike what the international community might think and many cynics in this country too, I don’t believe the latter tragic mass murder has a thing to do with the so called tension in our charged political atmosphere. Nor it has to do with Sarah Palin’s love for guns or with the Tea Party’s heated opposition to our current administration. If we choose to allege the Tucson massacre to these factors, we are literally dodging the bullet, feeling lucky we were not the ones bleeding to death this time around.

Then with a quick shrug of the shoulders and the notorious “not my problem” line, we move on to see what the Kardashians are up to, fervently deeming their lives to be our problem.

Authorities claim, Jared Loughner, the shooter, took on the Fifth Amendment and has not said a word since he was tackled down and restrained by three courageous citizens, while he was attempting to reload his gun.

This twenty two year old crazy has been leaving a trail of troublesome hints for years. Moreover, Pima Community College communicated with Loughner’s parents after his suspension in early October of 2010 due to his erratic and disturbing behavior in class.  In a letter sent to his parents, the College Administration stated that to return to classes, he ought to obtain a mental health clearance indicating that he will not pose a danger to himself or others.

Seemingly the letter got lost in the mail or Loughner’s parents are illiterate, because six weeks later, Loughner purchased the semi-automatic handgun that was used in Saturday’s attack.

In the era of the social media, how can we afford to ignore explicit statements of murder left on a MySpace or Facebook page or disturbing Youtube uploads? Loughner warned his immediate group of acquaintances and for that matter the world when posting his distorted ideas online. What would you have done if you would have come across his uploads?  I do blame the people who knew him and decided to ignore his statements for not alerting the authorities. The man raised a red flag and screamed for help in the only way he knew how. Parents??? Where were you? We all know you are devastated now. No need to make a public statement about it. But, did you think you were off the hook because the kid graduated from High School? Wrong! Don’t shrug your shoulders, because IT IS YOUR PROBLEM.

I’m certain Loughner’s parents did not raise him to be a mass murderer or a madman. As a mother I can attest that from that first raw moment we cuddle our babies close to our hearts we could never fathom such wonder ever turning into tragedy.

Signs of trouble are usually evident in the early stages of life. Have you ever scrutinized the dynamics of children in a sandbox? How about the immediate reactions of parents to their offspring actions?

We’ve seen it before at least once in our life. A child hitting another kid for no reason or snatching away toys out of selfishness. Then, we wait for the response of the parent at hand.  Mostly we see parents taking prompt responsibility for the child’s action, teaching him on the spot about consequences.

But we also get to observe other parental reactions, which will most likely backfire in the long run. A dismissive wave of a hand, and a blank smile set the starting point of a succession of verbal excuses that could ultimately damage a young brain’s perception of right and wrong.

The lack of mental health awareness within our youth has been a great concern of mine from the moment my children started school. How do you know if the child sitting at lunch with yours is mentally stable?

The issue is somewhat controllable when kids are in grade school. The communication between parents and teachers tends to have a healthy flow in order to cooperatively handle troubling situations in their early stages.

But when my oldest son started filling out applications to go away to college, having witnessed through the news channels the many shootings that occurred in the past years in several college campuses across the country, my worry escalated.

While thumbing through some college brochures we received, I noticed a common denominator amongst them. Beyond stressing on the importance of academics, the imagery of the campuses did not fall short of some high end vacationing resorts. I have to admit it, as a parent I want my children to live in a beautiful environment and eat good food. But most of all I want them safe. Not once it is addressed in any of their well crafted booklets a much needed psychological evaluation for incoming students.

I believe mental stability to be a pivotal point needed to determine the applicant’s capability to leave its nest and join a community of peers where sexual and social tensions are at their peak.

In the light of this recent mayhem, I speculated about the effect of the latest trend in video games on a person who fails to distinguish fiction from reality and right from wrong.

The most popular games in the market today are those where a player is enlisted in a virtual army, to fight a virtual war to eliminate virtual enemies.

The tools of extermination are the latest most injurious firearms. The wounds inflicted in the targets are always fatal. But the soldier who shoots the gun does not deal with the graphics of death. Upon bullet impact, the enemy’s wound flashes a red spurt, and then the dead body disappears as if it had never existed.

In a troubled mind, the virtual world of video games blends with its blurred perception of reality. When playing “Call of Duty”, the delusional player becomes a soldier in and out of the game. The remote control is easily replaced with a real firearm, thanks to some states gun laws, and the license to kill in the form of a video game, is available for about fifty dollars at any local toy store.

I do know that there are viable methods to follow up on children’s psychological development throughout their schooling years and in a way prevent massacres like the one in Tucson.

The Rorschach test, mostly known as the Inkblot Test is used to examine a person’s personality characteristics and emotional functioning. It has been employed to detect an underlying thought disorder, especially in cases where patients are reluctant to describe their thinking processes openly.

I would be more than happy to sign a release for my children to be submitted to said test at least three times during their schooling years:  At the beginning of kindergarten, when they start Junior High and before they graduate from High School.

Just like the SATs and a decent GPA, a mental health status should be part of the admissions package to college before letting a child out of their parents’ grasp and into the world on their own.

It’s too late to sit down with twenty two year old Loughner and disarm him like a bomb to find the core of his troubles. He already exploded at took a community down with him.

When I became a parent, I don’t recall seeing a stamp on my babies’ soft bottoms with an expiration date on parent responsibilities.

Making sure that my children are good to themselves and to others is “my call of duty.”

As part of a society, I would not dare shrug my shoulders and say it is not my problem.

THE MOST ANNOYING MEDIA PERSONALITIES OF 2010:

• Nancy Grace-Glenn Beck-Rush Limbaugh &  Bill O’Reilly • Nancy Pelosi • Perez Hilton • Kate Gosselin • Gloria Allred • Tiger Woods & Jesse James • Sarah Palin

Tired of sanctimonious media talking heads, unscrupulous and opportunistic politicians, no talent celebrities and self-made nobodies? So are we! Here is our list of 2010’s most annoying media personalities – media jerks – whom we think should have been “tarred and feathered” for their shenanigans in 2010. They will appear in no particular order as the level of annoyance is about the same for all.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

Nancy Grace, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly:

The Three Stooges/Curly, Larry and Moe + One. However, what binds these four oddballs together is everything that is not genius. Grace, Beck, Limbaugh and O’Reilly are the epitome of today’s mean-spirited talk show hosts who seem to delight in their extraordinary ability to polarize the American people (er, despite the “extraordinary ability” part, this is not a compliment, guys), and their skill in the use of drama and theatrics to spew self-indulgent garbage on a daily basis. With the mistaken notion that they alone are the arbiters of truth, justice and liberty…oh, and let’s not forget American pride, these four angry, insecure, narcissistic loudmouths take the cake for belittling and berating their guests to show who can best shoot opposing viewpoints into oblivion. This grouping reminds us of a charming little saying we learned while growing up in the Caribbean, “Empty vessels make the most noise.” For us, listening to these yell and scream is akin to getting one’s wisdom teeth pulled…with no painkillers. Ayayay!! Funny thing is, while they love to denigrate, intimidate and dish it out to any and everybody, they have a haaaaaard time taking criticism. Our advice – they should each get a copy of Beck’s little book, “Arguing with Idiots,” and have a conversation with the mirror.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

NANCY PELOSI
(by Sandra Gluschankoff):

In 2007, Nancy Pelosi made history when she was elected the first woman to serve as Speaker of the House. However, in December 2010, there is an old phrase which sums up Nancy Pelosi’s political career in the Democratic Party: she has, to put it bluntly, “overstayed her welcome.” Get a clue woman! When your own people fear your presence at their public appearances when running for office, as if you were jinxed,  you have overstayed your welcome. When your popularity amongst registered voters plummets to 29 percent, as it was the case in this past November elections, it means it’s time to wrap up the show, hit the road and put a new face to the Democratic Party. No, we are not talking about another plastic surgery on Pelosi’s much worked on facial features, but somebody who not only should get in touch with voters but also with the President – a much damaged relationship where she strives passionately to make him lose more popularity than he already had. We view Pelosi’s dramatic fall, as a spinoff of the “Wizard of Oz.” She has taken a whole house down with her and is momentarily living in Lala Land. Hopefully during her new appointment as House Minority leader, she will get a brain, a heart, and courage to finally realize that her time in her current “party” has ran out. We do have a suggestion for Nancy though. Her unmoving facial expressions do make her a good contender in a tight race with Joan Rivers, to be the speaker for a popular party – the Tupperware Party.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

PEREZ HILTON:

Mario Armando Lavandeira is a man so desperate to maintain an identity in the spotlight, he will apparently do anything, and at anyone’s expense, to achieve that. If you don’t know whom we are talking about, it’s the self-proclaimed “Queen of All Media,” Perez Hilton, a failed actor who luckily stumbled upon the next best thing that would at least allow him to be a part of the celebrity culture – gossipmongering.  His shtick? Write about the celebrities whom he would like to be, disparage/vilify those who dismiss him as an idiot, and ingratiate himself to those with whom he can hang out so he can be a celebitchy by association. Genius! But where Perez fails is in his petty, nasty personal attacks against people whom he believes have done him wrong and in his unceasing quest to “out” closeted gay celebs. Never mind that his “closet” may have a lot worse than the horrible clothes he wears. Never mind that he runs a low-class site filled with demeaning tabloid photos accompanied by infantile sexual doodles and captions. Never mind that he cries like a banshee when celebs attack him back. He just doesn’t want to report the tabloid news anymore, he wants to be the news.

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

KATE GOSSELIN:

It isn’t because she dances with two left feet or makes iRobot look like Fred Astaire or Ginger Rogers that Kate Gosselin has made our 2010 Media Jerks list. We are just sick of Kate using her kids to further her so called “career.” Her constant need to be in the limelight and present herself as some kind of “star” or “diva” will make her do anything to maintain the celebrity lifestyle that she is obsessed with and tag it onto “providing” for her ‘Plus 8.’ But some of us are just not buying her act and don’t understand how more people can’t see through it. After all, this is the same angry, controlling shrew that berated and emasculated her husband, Jon, on their TLC show, Jon & Kate Plus 8. She has no discernible talent except that if it weren’t for a successful union of sperm, uterus, ovaries, egg and more sperm, we wouldn’t have known the Gosselins existed. As for her constant complaint that the paparazzi won’t leave her alone, well, we think they’re starting to respect her wishes, as the tabloids seem to have lost interest, as has the public. Kate has made enough money off her books and appearances that should allow her to just go away already!

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

GLORIA ALLRED:

The fall of an icon. It happens more times than we can imagine, and we start wondering… How? Picture it: a skanky mistress is wronged by her “John,” a philandering celebrity husband, loaded with $$$$. Hey, what’s that on the broom in the sky coming to the rescue?? It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Superman?? No, wait! It’s super-media hog attorney, Gloria Allgreed! We used to admire Gloria Allred, the remarkable attorney and tireless crusader of women’s rights, who also fought against discrimination of any kind. Those were the days! Gloria is still leading the fight, BUT her carefully crafted reputation for justice has practically been reduced to defending home wreckers and mistresses. Gloria has virtually glorified the “other woman” – lowlifes in our opinion, who have contributed to the destruction of marriages and public humiliation of wives – giving them a voice, celebrity status, and worst of all financial (wink) “compensation.” Is it the money Gloria, that would make a respectable lawyer who fought the right fight for the right women, to give up her prestigious title of “justice icon” for the title of “media jerk?”

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

TIGER WOODS & JESSE JAMES:

In 2010, Tiger and Jesse headed a long list of cheating celebrity scumbags whose multiple extra marital affairs (a) humiliated their unsuspecting wives in the mass media (b) made ‘celebrity mistress’ a lucrative, highly sought-after profession and (c) left the public saying an incredulous, “huh??” Tiger shot a tee right between the eyes of his wife (and mother of his two kids), Elin. And Jesse, well, Jesse just outright blindsided Sandra Bullock as he rubbed tattoos with others of the same “ink”. Unfortunately, many more Jesse James and Tiger Woods types are steadily coming out of the woodwork, ‘outed’ by questionable bed partners who, on their best day, couldn’t hold a candle to their spouses. Regrettably, The names of these two jerks have now become synonymous with serial cheating of epic proportions and what’s even worse is that this kind of behavior no longer seems to have any stigma attached. What a sad commentary on where we are headed as a society!

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

SARAH PALIN:

This one’s a no-brainer. Watching her play politics makes us just want to pull our hair extensions out! Yikes!!  Palin is one of those annoying people whom we describe in the Caribbean as “talking loud and saying nothing.” When you look beneath the surface of her manic beaming, there’s really nothing, except an uncanny ability to gleefully divide a whole nation and a penchant for personally attacking others while crying foul when the shoe’s on the other foot. Two years after being introduced to the world, Palin (a) still comes across as misinformed (b) still seems to outdo herself in the idiocy department with each public appearance or statement and (c) has yet to answer a question directly, as she meanders more than the “long and winding road that leads to nowhere.” Moreover, the quintessential stalker of fame seems to be indecisive as to whether she wants to be a TV personality or politician. She should stop “moosing” around with the American people and just go away. But, to all those who want to put Sarah Palin in the White House as Leader of the Free World (ouch!!), we ask, are we so desperate for a female presidential candidate that we will latch onto mediocrity and ruin the chances of other more qualified candidates around?  Let’s not forget (as we also say in the Caribbean), “you can put a pig in a palace, it’s still a pig”…lipstick and all.

SEE YOU NEXT YEAR FOR THE 2011 MEDIA JERKS!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

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2010′s MOST REMARKABLE MEDIA PERSONALITY:

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved

We love the caring spirit of Anderson Cooper, CNN’s golden boy and darling of the American public. We, at this blog, are thinking about getting him nominated for a Presidential award for his humanitarian efforts.

Highly respected in media circles, Anderson has earned his kudos primarily due to a lifetime of dedication to excellence in journalism, fueled by a profound interest in the survival of the human spirit in extenuating circumstances. He comes off as authentically compassionate, sensitive and kind, exhibiting an unusual empathy and caring for those less fortunate than himself. Anderson comes from a life of privilege, being the son of the famous clothing designer, Gloria Vanderbilt, and writer, Wyatt Emory Cooper.

Anderson says he was a “news junkie” since he was ‘in utero.’ Now called the “anchorperson of the future,” Anderson Cooper goes beyond the headlines to tell stories from diverse points of view, so audiences can make up their own minds about the news. His popular show, Anderson Cooper 360°, a provocative news program that does just that.

In his early years, he reported and produced stories from Bosnia, Iran, Israel, Russia, Rwanda, Somalia, South Africa and Vietnam. However, since the launch of Anderson Cooper 360°, Cooper has covered nearly all major news events around the world, often reporting from the scene, and introducing us to some of the worst war-torn regions around the globe.

He has reported multiple times on momentous events in Afghanistan and Iraq, the Niger famine in Maradi, ongoing violence in Mexico, the bombings in London, the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict, and in 2004, traveled to Sri Lanka to cover the tsunami. And who can forget his heart-wrenching coverage of (and continued interest in) the aftermath of the deadly Hurricane Katrina, or his high definition documentary, Planet in Peril, about issues threatening the planet, its inhabitants and its natural resources or his homage to the extraordinary deeds by ordinary people, CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute. Cooper and Anderson Cooper 360°, have rightfully won several major journalism awards, including multiple Emmy awards.

However, it is his impassioned coverage of events like the recent BP oil spill in the Gulf and the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti that makes him our 2010 Media Icon – The Most Remarkable Media Personality. In each instance, he has brought with him a level of passion and genuineness that is unparalleled.

Anderson Cooper sums up his work in this quote, “I think you have to be yourself, and you have to be real and you have to admit what you don’t know, and talk about what you do know, and talk about what you don’t know as long as you say you don’t know it. I tend to relate more to people on television who are just themselves, for good or for bad, than I do to someone who I believe is putting on some sort of persona.” And that’s why we can understand how this much-touted newsman is, in fact, a fan of reality star, NeNe Leakes of the Real Housewives of Atlanta fame. Endearing. J

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Norouz meaning the light of day is the Persian New Year and it celebrates the Spring Equinox. It is originally a Zoroastrian festival and has been celebrated from the Achaemenids Period (340-330 BC). On the first day of spring, Kings from different areas under the ruling of the Persian Empire would come to the kingdom to present gifts to the king of Persia.

On the eve of the last Wednesday of the year, Persians celebrate by making bonfires and jumping over them. They shout while leaping over the fire:  Give me your red vibrant color and take away my yellow paleness.  This day is called chaharshanbeh soori.

In welcoming spring and the renewal of life, most Persians also do an extensive cleaning of their homes. They wash all the curtains, and rugs in the house.  The kitchens are completely cleaned up. We decorate a table for the Persian New Year. Seven items that starts with the letter C decorate the table; Serkeh (vinegar), Sumac, Seer (garlic), smanu (sweet paste), seeb (apple), Senjed (sorb-tree_ berry), Sabzeh (wheat or lentils grown in a tray).  Most Persians add Sonbol (hyacinths) and sekkeh (coins). These two items begin with C but there are not traditionally considered part of the seven C’s people put on the table.

Serkeh signifies patience. Sumac is a sign for the sunrise. Seer represents medicine and health.  Samanu represents wealth. Seeb symbolizes beauty and Senjed represents love. Sabzeh is a symbol of rebirth and renewal that represent the season of spring.

Right after New Year is announced on TV, all my family members hug and congratulate each other with best wishes. Then my father takes the coin and passes it around. All of us hold the coin and wish for money and success. We also add colored boiled eggs to the table.

Growing up, my mom would boil eggs and us kids would sit around the table and paint them. There also couple of gold fish in a bowl. Muslims also add a copy of the Koran.

The traditional food of Persian New Year’s day is Sabzi polo which consists of rice and green herbs and it is served with fish. The seasonings used are parsley, coriander, chives, dill and fenugreek. Kookoo Sabzi, another food served that day, is a light and fluffy omelet soufflé made from parsley, dill, coriander, spinach, spring onion ends and chives, mixed with eggs and walnut.  Kookoo Sabizi is usually served with the evening meal.

Usually grandparents give money to the grandchildren as gifts for the New Year. I remember growing up, my grandparents, aunts and uncles would give us money as gifts and we were so happy to save that money. Almost every year, my mom used to borrow the money that we had saved and to this day she has not yet given them back.

The New Year starts on March 21st and we celebrate for 12 days. During this time, the younger people visit the older people first. The children and grandchildren go to parents and grandparents homes. The younger siblings pay visit to the older ones. Then the process reverses; the elders come visit the younger people.  During the visit the guests are served wonderful sweets, tea, fruits, and dried nuts.  On the thirteenth day, family members get together and they all go for a picnic. We find a running river where we drop the sabzeh into the water. The sabzeh which is sign of renewal take away all the negative things from the past year and gives us the hope for a year full of life, health, happiness, and success.

If you live in Los Angeles, California, you could take a stroll in Westwood Blvd., where you would see many stores carry the items for the Persian New Year.  You can also see all the shoppers going in and out of the stores buying the items for the table.

As I am writing this to you, I am in the home of my brother and his wife and we are decorating the Christmas tree with all my family.  My sister is law is an American and she brings the spirit of Christmas beautifully and fully each year to the house.

It is a wonderful world where we can merge cultures, enjoy, and celebrate New Year twice in a year.  I hope you all join us in celebrating the renewal of life in spring.

I wish each and every one of you a wonderful Christmas and a very happy new year full of health, love, and success. I wish for all the loved ones who are apart for any reason to be able to join each other and for these separations to end.  I hope that all of us who are going through tough times this year, to have better greater jobs next year. I wish for love and warmth of this season to overflow in everyone’s home.

I send you all my love and best wishes from San Diego, Cali.

Jasmine

I arrived in the United States with my whole family including a twin sister, two brothers, and parents. My parents were travelling back and forth between Iran and the United States for a long time.

We were separated for about 10 years. We are a very close family and this was a very difficult experience for each and every one of us. Three years ago we were finally reunited when my youngest brother joined us in the United States. I appreciate my family more than ever.

Not long ago my mom and I we were discussing how this experience of migrating to another country changed us forever.  We became very aware of the hardship of moving to a new country. I feel that my parents made huge sacrifices for their children to be in a great country, reaching for higher education and living a free life.

With all the talks and debates on the subject of stringent immigration law in Arizona, I have been thinking about this topic more and more.  Why do people immigrate to the United States or other countries? I want to discuss this issue because I don’t think that many people who haven’t been introduced to these cultures understand where these people are coming from.   I am not taking any sides in this issue, what I am merely trying to do is to mention some of the reasons people go through the hardship of moving into a new country and to introduce their side of the story.

It is a known fact that most people who migrate to other countries come from countries with economical and/or political upheavals.  In the case of many Iranians for instance, they moved out of the country for the fear of religious and political persecution. Many people (Muslim or Jewish) who were linked with the previous government usually lost all their possessions and had to seek refuge in other countries. Some of them chose to stay in Europe and others decided to come to the United States.

It is an adventure to move to a new country as a young person, but it also a difficult adjustment.  It is even more difficult for older generations who have to leave their homes, friends, families, and work. They have to learn a new language and adjust to a new culture.

Some of these people leave their countries because they fear for their lives. Many left their countries to offer better lives to their children. In the case of Iran, my parents wanted to avoid sending my brothers to the forced military services, and with the volatile situation in Iran there is no guarantee that there will not be future wars to fight after the one between Iran and Iraq.  My parents also wanted all of us to experience learning other languages and living in countries in which we are free to express our opinion.

We are lucky that my parents were in a position to move to another country and live comfortably. Many people who move to the United States have to do things that they would have never done in their own country just to survive.  I have seen some heartbreaking things that sometimes make you in awe of the amount of courage and love the people possess to endure these circumstances.

Many immigrants to other countries are people who have very difficult time surviving in their own countries.  For instance, many Mexicans who migrate to the United States are doing so to be able to support their families in Mexico since the opportunities in some areas of Mexico are scarce.

I do understand that many people in the United States are upset about the situation of people migrating to the United States. With the unfortunate financial and economical conditions in the United States for the past couple of years, these feelings of discontent have accumulated to a higher level.  Surprisingly the number of illegal immigrants has decreased in the recent years.  The chart below indicates this increase.  From another source, I also found that the highest numbers on immigration has been in the following order — Mexicans, Chinese and Filipinos.

During the turmoil in Afghanistan between 1992 and 1996 and for many years after, many Afghans moved to Iran.  Many of them were working illegally and without papers. They came from borders near Iran. Many people were tired of having all the illegal people in the country.   However, many of the people such as my family tried to support them by giving them jobs.  A young man from Afghanistan worked for us for many years. He sent money on the regular basis to his family in Afghanistan. He eventually gathered enough money to return to Afghanistan to establish a good life.  During the years he was with my father, my father was fined many times for giving a job to someone without papers.  The immigration system in Iran is not as stringent as in the United States in regards to immigration matters. I doubt many people would like to move to live in a more politically, economically, and humanely repressed than their own.  Given these facts, there were many Iranians that were not happy with the situation, having many these Afghans moving to Iran. These were primarily the people who enjoyed the benefits of the cheap labor offered by the Afghan immigrants.

As I mentioned earlier, it is hard for older people who move to a new country to adjust and I feel that it is hard for children who are either born and raised or come at early age to the United States to intertwine the traditions and cultures of both their motherland and new country.

For me the experience was exhilarating for the most part. I love most traditions in the United States. I moved here in my late teens and I learned to love it all here. My most favorite tradition of all is Thanksgiving.  It involves two of my most loved things, food and family.

But what happens when the cultures and traditions clash? I was raised very conservative. Even though my parents were very open minded Muslims, they believed in certain traditional ideas. Therefore, my sister and I have many conflicting life experiences and teachings.

My father would allow us to drink wine with dinner but growing up we weren’t allowed to date boys or even befriend them. We went to a girls’ school and had only girlfriends.  I was brought up to believe that girls should wait for their Prince charming and get married. But what happens when your Prince charming is only dressed as one. What happens when all you were taught shudders because the person you are married to doesn’t believe those sets of ideas and morals?  I believed that you marry once in your lifetime just as my parents did. You work out the problem in the marriage and stick it out, especially if you have children, just as they did.

In my case, I looked at the unsuccessful marriage as a failure in life but I learned to grow up. I understood that in the department of love, dating, and marriage, I still had a lot to learn and loads of maturing to do.  My view of the marriage today is completely different. I still do believe in soul mates, I still hope for a long lasting love but I question forever. To be quite candid, it saddens me sometimes that my naïve image of the past is completely polluted with the reality of things and my experiences. The cultural differences and changes that I have felt are many but as the years pass by and as I am evolving more and more into this new hybrid culture, the lines are getting blurry.

Nowadays I have to think and ponder before responding to a question regarding the difference in how I was raised and how living in the United States changed me.  I would like to add however, that I have been lucky to move to Los Angeles, California where you meet people from all over the world and where you are exposed to different cultures, food, and music in every corner of this beautiful city.

To conclude my thoughts, I would like to thank all those who have been welcoming to my family and me.  It is hard to be in a new place and learn a new way of living.

So I would like to ask you as an immigrant or an American of many generations, do you believe that we have to have more acceptance and tolerance towards people who are trying their best to make their situation work?

(©) 2010 Lord Sisters. All Rights Reserved.

When I see the Real Housewives of any city or state, or any of the other reality TV shows whose very success thrives on drama replete with backstabbing, jealousy, envy, division and the destruction of friendship/relationships, I have to ask, WHAT does “friendship” mean these days?

Whenever I read or hear about a source “close” to a celebrity or public figure revealing privileged information to tabloid media, I cringe. Who are these close sources? Surely they must be people who are trusted enough to be in that person’s inner circle. Doesn’t that in itself count for something? Whatever happened to loyalty, as in “I got your back,” to those people whom we call friends?

Meaningful friendship — you know, the type exemplified in the beautiful lyrics of the Golden Girls theme song that starts with, “Thank you for being a friend…your heart is true you’re a pal and a confidant…” or what Dionne Warwick meant when she crooned, “That’s what friends are for… knowin’ you can always count on me for sure…in good times, and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more,” or Simon & Garfunkel with “Bridge Over Troubled Water,” or Carole King with “You’ve Got A Friend” — seems to be dying a slow, painful death.

Nowadays, as everyone fights to get into the spotlight by any means necessary, these great lyrical expressions of gratitude, loyalty and unflinching support go out the window faster than Heidi Montag will go under a plastic surgeon’s knife.

As a society we’ve become so “me-oriented,” people are selling “friendship” up the river for fame, money, a roll in the hay, immunity from legal trouble and every selfish justifiable reason under the sun — losing their souls in the process.

As a child, I remember going to the movies and seeing characters give up information about their friends for a few dollars. I couldn’t fathom that. However, as an adult, I have realized that fiction is not far from reality.

I don’t take the word “friend” lightly. For me, friendship is a very precious thing that cannot be manipulated or bought.

Having grown up in the spotlight myself, I have always been cautious about the agendas of those eager to form a friendly alliance. And although I developed good radar to separate the wheat from the chaff, I’ve suffered my share of betrayals, too.

So, how do you determine who is good friend material? Who do you trust these days?

Everyone faces these challenging questions whether they’re a celebrity or a regular Joe the Plumber.

Over the years I have developed several gauges, which have served me well:

** Anyone who says something behind their friend’s back that they won’t say to their face, you should, as we say in the Caribbean, “feed with a long spoon.”

** Anyone who talks about you in an unfavorable light behind your back is not your friend.

** Anyone who covertly divulges confidential information about his or her “good friend” to you or a third party should also be kept at arms length. If they do it to their “good friend,” they will inevitably do it to you.

** Anyone you’ve invited into your social circle and who tries to insinuate themselves into the lives of your friends, i.e., tries to “steal” your friends or contacts, you should avoid like the plague.

** Anyone who is jealous of you or covets your social status, lifestyle, job, accomplishments, talents and abilities, friends, boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife should be kept at bay. Jealousy is a cancer that inevitably brings death to the best of friendships.

** Anyone who competes with you, tries to control you, resents or abuses you, takes pleasure in criticizing you, shows you up or puts you down, takes you for granted, takes advantage of you, always puts their time and needs ahead of yours, is never there for you, discourages your dreams, or brings out the worst in you, should be avoided at all costs.

If any friend is guilty of any of the above you should get rid of that toxic relationship pronto.

I’m not saying that your true friends shouldn’t criticize you, but denigrating criticism, or even excessive flattery for that matter, based on a hidden agenda, is not a good component for true friendship.

My mother raised my sisters and me to be each other’s best friends. She didn’t encourage friendships outside the family circle. Let’s just say that mom didn’t much care for faultfinders, gossips and backbiters associating with and poisoning her kids. Being a large family, my mom’s strategy although not flawless, for the most part worked well enough for us. Over the years, as I observed deception and betrayal between so-called friends, I realized that mom was onto something.

So, it’s not surprising that I am very particular about whom I call “friend” and even more picky about “close friend.” I have very few. Nonetheless, the subject of “friendship” has always fascinated me.

I’ve heard it said that some people come into your life for a season, others for a reason and others for a lifetime. But how do “fair-weather friends” fit into this scenario?

When I think of MC Hammer and how he was virtually abandoned by his “friends” when he encountered a financial crisis, I wonder “under what label did these people come into his life” – a season, a reason? From all accounts, Hammer was generous to a fault to the hundreds of hangers-on on his payroll, but as soon as things hit the financial skids, everyone scattered. The hypocrisy still boggles my mind.

Then there’s Gayle and Oprah. They seem to fall into the category of those friends that connect with you for life – the ones that the writers talk about in those famous “friends forever” songs I highlighted earlier.

I think Gayle and Oprah have the friend thing down pat. The fact that people question their friendship or have a hard time wrapping their brains around it is amazing to me. That only tells me something about the naysayers because those who understand and truly respect the concept of deep friendship admire the dynamic duo. I’m sure they have their spats, but these are two friends who seem to have all the key ingredients in place – open communication, respect, support, loyalty, appreciation, trust, and no doubt will take many a secret to their graves. They also demonstrate something I’ve always believed, that you CAN mix business with friendship.  While Gayle and Oprah both have other friends, I am sure no one can replace them in each other’s life. Every time Oprah says “my best friend, Gayle,” to the world, I love it! Despite the huge package that comes with the Oprah brand, I can clearly see how the friendship is on even keel…no easy feat, but testimony to both of their values.

Friendships like these are ultra-special. Star Jones puts them in another category in her book, “You Have to Stand for Something or You’ll Fall for Anything.” In one chapter she talks about “Who’s Gonna Drive The Broncho?” which references Al Cowlings and his famous loyal support of OJ Simpson. Who would you call if you were in some serious trouble – who would put their life on the line for you? Like someone once said, who you gonna call if you wake up in a foreign country with a dead hooker in your bed?

That brings me to the next question, who’s in YOUR inner circle? Do you have friends on whom you can depend no matter what, or are your friends of the caliber described by the poet below?

Have many friends and treat them well
But never to them your secrets tell
For when your friends become your foe
All over the world your secrets go

The advice in that poem is not to be taken lightly, but there are many gems waiting to show true friendship to others…you just have to find them.

And when you find those true friends, you will see that they celebrate who you are, believe in you, uplift and encourage you and are happy when you succeed. They empower you and bring out the best in you and vice versa. Iron sharpens iron.

Take the time and effort to nurture those relationships. Sometimes when someone hurts or offends us, we can be tempted to disconnect — give the other person the silent treatment and pull back.  But once you realize the value of what you have, including open, honest communication with no negative agenda, it will be easy to forgive and forget, for true friends are few and far between.

Finally, after all is said, as you are gauging others, give yourself the same test.

How do you compare as a friend? What kind of friend are YOU?